Jollification

Jollification dates back to 1809 and is derived from the anglo-french word "jolif".

Just a little history of the new word I learned today!

I looked up jolly because that is the word I wanted to use to describe how I have been and I learned JOLLIFICATION!!! How fun of a word is that! Anyhow the meaning...MERRYMAKING!

JOLLIFICATION would be the word I would use to describe Christmas here in Romania so far...People walk the streets and dress up in cheap Santa costumes that they can buy at the store...even taxi drivers get in on the jollification by dressing up as Santa Clause!!!

Today 12-26 is a holiday as well as the 25th! I personally like that they lengthen the time that Christmas lasts!

Anyhow, just wanted to drop a line and didn't really know what I was going to write...that's that! I leave you with a photo of some jollification that Ryan, Armando, Romi, and I all participated in yesterday!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Praise the Lord for new experiences and people to share them with...I can't say this is the most traditional Christmas I have ever had...

God has most certainly blessed me with the company I am surrounded with and the opportunities I have had here...

I met a girl on my last trip named Noemi...She is now 21 and she was an orphan and doesn't really have a family or anyone to care for her. I had the opportunity to hang out with her yesterday! We went on a train and a bus to the shopping center. Quite frankly I think it would have been quicker to walk! Oh well...

I bought her a new coat because she needed one and a dress for a New Years party as well as some accessories...I am so blessed to have had the ability to do that for her and my prayer is that she would know the depth of God's love for her! Please join me in praying for her!



Also...the boys are fabulous! I have loved getting to know them as 18 year olds! We have had lots of fun PLUS challenges as they ARE teenagers...Takes me back to me being one! HAHA! Anyhow I am so thankful for Romi and Mando and the new relationships I am building with them!

Romi is very techy and loves his muscles! He is also more serious and toned down...but has a good sense of humor as well!



Armando is more playful yet VERY helpful around the house! He likes to do his hair and is into taking time to get ready!


Ryan and I are having a great time spending time together, in the kitchen mostly, and preparing for Christmas! We have been taking turns baking while the other wraps presents and tonight we all four had a fabulous dinner and then went walking in downtown Arad with a couple from one of the children's homes here! Christmas here is such a cool thing! They go caroling until all hours of the night and everybody is out and about just spending time together rather than in. Very interesting and FUN!





I need to retire but wanted to send out an update after this fabulous festive occasion! Can't wait till they open their presents in the morning!!! And I am not gonna lie...can't wait to open mine either!

God bless you ALL this Christmas!

Lovins,

Amber

Romania update 1

God is so good...

He has certainly prepared the way for me to get here these past months and even in the past days!

I was to leave on Tuesday December 16th from Pittsburgh airport...They were putting out a bunch of winter storm warnings and the such and I had to get to Ryan's parents so that they could take me to the airport. Well, when I got there his mom was upset that she couldn't accompany us because she works as an occupational therapist in the schools and had school the next day. Because of the winter storm warnings she thought she MIGHT be off the next day but we didn't want the roads to be bad either for the treck to Pittsburgh, which was about a 45 minute drive. We packed up all the goods that they had for me to bring to Ryan and the boys and went to bed.

The next morning I woke up and looked out the window...NO SNOW!!! YAY! I walked to the kitchen and there was Ryan's mom and dad. I was like are you off school??? She said yes. She worked in a different school district than the one they live in and the winter storm came ALL THE WAY UP TO THE LINE. The route we needed to take to Pittsburgh wasn't touched by the winter storm at all! PRAISE THE LORD!!!

So then I got to the airport, we ate, and bid farewell and I boarded the plane. Low and behold, I looked out the window and it started snowing...I think God was just assuring me of His control! Thanks God!



Since being here I haven't done too terribly much, I have been getting through jet lag and a cold and getting gifts ready for Ryan and the boys and that is about it. Arad has changed quite a bit since I was here last. I don't really know how to describe the changes but it is good. It is being built up more and more commercial but not in a bad way...It is nice to see the little mall that they have compared to the mall before that reminded me of a bad flea market...the mall now is an actual mall!

We went 2 churches yesterday and enjoyed fabulous worship at one, where I recognized the tunes to songs and follow along...The other church is non-instrumental Church of Christ and Ryan is more of a leader there. He led prayer a couple of times and served communion. Sometimes he preaches as well. So, the first church is more of a way for him to be fed and the 2nd is where he serves...plus we like instruments! :)

After church we went to McDonalds and I had a headache and went to a cafe...that is where I took the pic at the top...I had lapte calde cu mierte...hot milk with honey...not exactly what I wanted but it WAS good...I didn't know what I ordered...I thought lapte was latte! I wanted coffee but OH WELL!

During my time here the Scripture of 1 John 4:7-20 has been a great reminder...http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20john%204&version=31

Nick Nischan

For those of you who don't know...

A professor of mine and his wife have a son who has been battling cancer since 2002, the year I graduated from KCC. Tim and Tammy Nischan also have 3 other childen, one adopted from India (Olivia), they also lost a baby girl to SIDS in 1997. She was 6 weeks old. Their journey has been painful and would be unbearable to so many, however they remain faithful and strong in the Lord. They lean on the word of God and people of God...

Nick has used the "thumbs up" throughout his battle and it has become his "trademark" if you will. Alex Trebek even sent him a photo of himself with his thumbs up...There is a picture his mom took when they were driving of a cloud that looks like a thumb up!!! Encouragement from God???



He has remained faithful, strong, and positive. He refused any pain meds except for an occasional tylenol, which is amazing considering the size of the tumors that were growing on his spine and brain! He was a HUGE Titans fan and got to attend a game with his mom and mom's friend this past fall!



I will use the words already printed by his dad...

Nick Nischan won his battle and finished his race victoriously this morning at home surrounded by his family. Funeral arrangements are incomplete. Please keep the Nischan family in your prayers at this time. He finished in peace and with strength. thank you for your prayers and your continued prayers. They have truly brought us through. tim



PRAISE THE LORD FOR THE LIFE NICK LEAD IN CHRIST. PRAISE THE LORD FOR THE QUALITY OF LIFE HE HAD THROUGHOUT THE BATTLE. PRAISE THE LORD FOR HIS PROMISES OF ETERNAL SALVATION WITH HIM IN HEAVEN...

BIRTHDAY FUN!

WHAT A WEIRD LOOKIN PAIR OF FRIENDS!


WHO IS THAT???


FABULOUS FRIENDS!

Palin rally

Gretchen n me smiling for the camera...stupid barrier!


Gretchen signing more autographs...


Miz Palin



Sarah n Gretchen


me n the gals waiting to get into the fairgrounds...

Random thoughts from my Bible Study tonight

For so long I have been very much focused on saving the lost and putting MUCH of my energy into saving them. This began with the desire for my dad to know God when I was in Junior High School. Then with co-workers and others that I am surrounded by that don't know Jesus as their Savior and King.

God has been speaking...

I can't save anyone. Though this is something I have thought, I am just realizing it...for real. I can't save them, can't talk them into loving Him, and won't be effective as long as my motivation in being their friend is saving them. So, I am just gonna live my life and love God. He comes first. It sounds so "simple and stupid" as Annell says in Steel Magnolias, but seriously, how many of us have a grasp on this concept?

I have lived with God as my savior for too long...YES He IS my Savior. I just want Him to be more. I want Him to be the King of my life. You can be saved without doing anything but believing in Him, that is true, but I want to do more for the One who saved me. As my king I will lay everything at His feet, I will glorify His name in the land He puts me in and I will fight for Him.

So...then, I was reading 1 Thessalonians 5. A couple of things spoke to me in this. Verse 8 says, "But let us who live in the light be clearheaded, protected by the armor of faith and love, and wearing as our helmet the confidence of salvation." When I rest in Him, and He provides me with the peace that passes ALL understanding, that is when I am clearheaded. That is when I realize that nothing on earth matters but my salvation. Resting in His promises is all I need for that moment. I can be confident that whatever this life throws at me I have salvation, Praise the LORD!

1 Thess. 5:12-19

12Dear brothers and sisters, honor those who are your leaders in the Lord’s work. They work hard among you and give you spiritual guidance. 13 Show them great respect and wholehearted love because of their work. And live peacefully with each other.

14 Brothers and sisters, we urge you to warn those who are lazy. Encourage those who are timid. Take tender care of those who are weak. Be patient with everyone.

15 See that no one pays back evil for evil, but always try to do good to each other and to all people.

16 Always be joyful. 17 Never stop praying. 18 Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

19 Do not stifle the Holy Spirit. 20 Do not scoff at prophecies, 21 but test everything that is said. Hold on to what is good. 22 Stay away from every kind of evil.

Reading this passage, I realize how much growing I have to do...it all sounds so good and ideal, but following through is so hard! It is EASY to encourage our leaders when they do a great job....how many of us do it when the sermons, lessons, praise time, etc. is mediocre? How many of us are comfortable going to someone who is lazy and warning them? BE PATIENT WITH EVERYONE??? WHAT? They guy who just cut me off, the lady ordering her starbucks that doesn't know how to order, then I give her what she ordered and she gets mad because I didn't put whip cream on the frappuccino LIGHT! I have such a long way to go, but, like I said earlier, I am going to work on loving God...the rest will come as I grow in Him...I want toe encourage you, my brothers and sisters, to do the same! LOVE GOD TODAY...DO it again tomorrow and the next day....

Desire

Friends, many of you have been asking about my journey. I am still at a loss as to answer most questions.

A lot of thought and change has begun to take place in my life during and after my 40days. I had so much time alone, in my car driving for thousands of miles, camping for several nights (though less than I wanted to), while sitting on the beach watching sunsets and in a camp chair looking at mountains. Though I was busier than I thought I would be, I was also cut off from much of the world that usually surrounds me!

That being said, I am still learning to be still as God wants me to. It is so hard in this world we live in to just be.

I absolutely cherished the time I had with Him. Some things He and I shared, such as His Creation were an absolute thrill. Other things we shared such as heart wrenching conviction not so much a thrill but much needed.

I am struggling with some decisions I feel Him calling me to make and I am absolutely ecstatic about others.

Some of these decisions include changing my lifestyle as I knew it before my trip. Surely there will be relationships that are affected and I do not want anyone to be offended though I know I have already offended one or two people. Please know that these changes are decisions made by the prompting of the Spirit in my heart and they do not come easily for me.

I choose to live for Christ. I desire to SERVE Him above all else. I don't know what else to say right now, other than my heart is absolutely overflowing with His love while breaking for the decisions to be made. Pray for me and know I love yall because of His love for me!!!

"And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today." Deuteronomy 6:5-6

...For the One

So...I was very moved during my time in Billings MT. It started when one of my favorite songs was sang by Mr. Travis Cottrell. The song is entitled "2000 years" and I listen to it on my ipod almost as much as his other song entitled "Annie's Song"...Anyhow. I just wanted to share what God has spoken to me through that song.

God gave us His son. His son Jesus gave us EVERYTHING he had to give...He gave up possessions, glory, honor, royalty, all the riches of this earth and Heaven so that he could offer us ETERNAL life enjoying the riches of Heaven. This life is so temporary. I sometimes feel like, I NEED this to help me through, or I go for some retail therapy to help me feel better. The Truth is that going to Him not only makes me feel better and have peace, it fills my cup and spirit to overflowing.

What if instead of going shopping for a new pair of shoes, new longaberger (sorry gals), new make-up, whatever it is that you do instead of seeking Him...what if we sought His face? How much more fruitful could we be? I really recommend listening to the entire song which is in the video in my most previous blog but regardless of if you do or not, I leave you with the line form Travis' song that inspired these thoughts...


"Would I realize what was really in store? That there would be so much more? Would I fall down in worship? Leave all that I treasured behind? For a chance to be closer to the man who might be the ONE who saves my life?"

Beth moore in Billings

Living Proof Live Billings Montana from Rich Kalonick on Vimeo.

My journey so far...

Hey friends!

I am having a fabulous time! God has worked together lots of details and I have tried to remain open to His moving! I have been on my journey for 9 days now and so much has happened I feel like it has been weeks! I drove to Kansas City on 9/7, then to Denver the following day. In Denver I visited some outlet shops and then moved on to camp at the Garden of the gods which is at the base of Pike's Peak! I had a fabulous time and even met a couple that know LD Campbell! Small world! I got to go horseback riding for three absolutely gorgeous hours (the groin sure was sore for it too)! I also hiked and spent some time with Jesus and fellowshipped with some brothers and sisters that I met at the campground! I have seen such beautiful sky and Creation!

On 9/11 I moved on and visited the sand dunes which are west of Colorado Springs and an absolute must see if you are ever out this way! Absolutely phenomenal! It looks like God dumped His sandbox in front of a mountain! Seriously!

I then moved on down to Show Low, AZ. where I used to be a dorm parent at the American Indian Christian Mission. I have a friend here that is getting married on 9/27 and have been spending time with her and her mom and fiance. It has been fabulous catching up and laughing! There has been a lot going on at the mission here as their financial director ran off with all of the school's money. So, I have been hanging out and as Chrissy's mom Rosie said, "It is good to laugh again." So, though I had planned on leaving earlier and driving up the Pacific Coast, I am going to stay here until Wednesday morning and then leave for Billings to see Beth Moore. I will return immediately to help with Chrissy's wedding! It will be a traditional Navajo wedding and while shopping with her and her mom on Saturday I was able to purchase a traditional Navajo dress and moccasins with buckskin that wraps all the way to my knees! GORGEOUS! They gave me a gift, a purple necklace, that matches my dress! Anyhow, I feel like Paul when I say my friends here and I are mutually encouraging one another!

Thanks for all your prayers and please keep praying! I pray for our church and ABF class, and my bunco gals! MISS YOU ALL!!!

Blessings!

My home

So, seeing as how my house sold and I am moving out to a tent, I have been thinking a LOT about "home".

We all have this sense that we need to belong somewhere. The house that I sold is the house I remember from my childhood. After my parents divorced when I was 10, I always had this longing to go back to that house and live there. When my dad passed away a couple of years ago, he left the house to me and I had the chance to go back.

During this time I have learned that the longings of this world are not fulfilling.
I have learned that the arms of Jesus and Heaven are the places that I belong. I am complete and whole in those places and until I reach Heaven I will settle for a tent or whatever life God chooses for me. This place is temporary and imperfect. The life I am longing for is the life where I will have a perfect body (can I get and AMEN?) and a perfect place to live while glorifying my perfect God along with EVERY tongue, tribe, and nation!

"For this world is not our permanent home; we are looking forward to a home yet to come" --Hebrews 13:14

FURNITURE FOR SALE!!!

OK folks, here it is! My furniture is for sale...pictures are below and the prices are listed...I want to use the money for a training that I will be attending in either October or January. I am going through the application process right now, so we will see what happens! If there is something you want and the price isn't right don't be afraid to let me know!

Black Pier 1 chest/coffee table with textured sides--$100

Kitchen glass top table and 4 faux suede chairs--$150

Fruit of the Spirit picture--$125

Pier 1 Wicker chair (pillow not included)--$25

Set of Williams Sonoma silk pillows (black and white)--$25

Pier 1 ring wall hanging--$10

Pier 1 matching Ceramic bowl and platter--$15

Rose candle holder--$5

black shelves (set of three-2 by mirror and 1 holding "princess")--$15

black framed mirror--$75

L shaped sectional microsuede couch--$550

Pier 1 black geometric side tables (set of 2)--$50

Pier 1 geometric lamp--$15

set of 3 vases--$5

two tan microsuede floor cushions that match couch--$20

Magnavox HDTV (I think 14 inches)--$175

Magnavox DVD player--$25

36' tall glass vase with rocks and orchids--$15

Corinthians verse painting (brown/white)--$10

black and white picture with "I am the Light of the World" at the bottom)--$15

black iron candle holder--$10 (I think I still have the red votive holders that you can switch out...of not make the price $5)!

Furniture for sale!

Faith

God is faithful. He has proven this to me over and over and over.

There are times when it is easy to trust and other times that rock my little Amber world and the very core of who I am, yet He can always be trusted.

We all know Amber wants to hit the mission field right? Well, I am sure God will keep His promise and allow me to eventually. Things have been working together for that goal to be reached recently. I have struggled with bits and pieces of the puzzle, however, HE is working it and making it come together!

So, all of that being said my Amber world was thrown a little off kilter yesterday. God has been leading me so clearly toward selling my house. Scripture and circumstances as well as friend's have all been confirming that. When I was worried about the reaction of my family to me selling my house, He "assured" me with this:.

“Yes,” Jesus replied, “and I assure you that everyone who has given
up house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or property,
for my sake and for the Good News, will receive now in return a hundred
times as many houses, brothers, sisters, mothers, children, and property—
along with persecution. And in the world to come that person will have
eternal life. But many who are the greatest now will be least important
then, and those who seem least important now will be the greatest then.”
--Mark 10:29-31

So yesterday I received a message from my realtor stating that the girl who made the offer on my house isn't positive she wants my house yet because she might be getting a job on the north side of Cincy...

So of course Amber was immediately worried...but I went immediately into the Word and opened up my summer Bible study, which is phenomenal...seriously, best study for me in quite a while...it was about trusting God as God. So, I did the study, prayed and went to work. And I have had peace since then...peace that passes all understanding...

It may not work the way I think it will, but as I have said, and believe...as long as I love Him and bring Him glory, "All things will work together."


“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a
gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid. "

--John 14:27

Newsboys!

Simply blessed

I just wanted to take a moment and give God some glory! He is just so good...Better than anything as a matter of fact and I am so blessed...There are so many things going on in my life and I am so busy but I have been blessed enough to have some time this week and last week to just breathe and when I look at how busy I am and even though I sometimes complain about the current situation, I am blessed!

I am blessed by...

My most fabulous friends! Seriously the best ever!

The people I work with.

The customers I see everytime I work at Starbucks.

The fabulous child I nanny for! Everyday when she wakes up she is singing...

The beauty of God's creation around me!

The ability to take up some new hobbies...running and biking!

And the more I work, the more I appreciate my time doing all of these things!

So, that is all I have to say...Glory to God in the Highest...Truly!!!

Lesson learned....the hard way.

God has a way of allowing us to make decisions and allowing us to learn through experience and a lot of times learning comes through hardship and heartbreak. A little about me...

In college I began dating a guy who I had become good friends with in 2000/2001. We broke things off after three years of a long distance relationship...by long distance I mean Romania. Soooo...We were able to maintain a normal friendship and would talk to each other about everything and when I dated someone else we talked about it and it was cool...then when he met someone I encouraged him to ask her out. And we always got along and neither experienced jealousy, at least that I am aware.

So...we lost contact about 2 years ago for about a year. Then for some reason contacted each other again a little less than a year ago. I was in a relationship at the time and while he was a great guy things were just dwindling and not really what I had hoped it would become. My friend had contacted me and during our phone call informed me that he had become engaged to the girl I originally encouraged him to date. My stomach immediately dropped, which I did NOT expect at ALL! He continued to inform me that things were not well in their relationship but he was hoping and praying they would work out. So, We finished our conversation which was mostly just catching up on lost time and hung up.

The feelings I had for him persisted. I did not want to EVER regret not saying anything or wonder "what if?" later in life, so I e-mailed him and let him know how I was feeling. In the mean time I ended my relationship. He replied and let me know he had the same feelings when I told him about my relationship. I was flabbergasted and we decided to discontinue communication until he had time to pray and talk to God about what HE wanted.

I ABSOLUTELY respected that more than anything else he could have done...so...we discontinued communication and wouldn't speak again until several months later when we would actually get to see each other face to face in Cincinnati for the National Missionary Convention. THings were soo good and it was like I found my best friend again and things were like we were never apart. It was painful though because his heart was still committed to his fiance in Romania.

We parted and I cried all the way home. We had the promise of several months that he would be in the country and saw each other several times. Each time was better than the last and I just know that God has a purpose for us.

So, when he returned to Romania I expected that he would do what he should to break things off with her and take time to heal and eventually pursue a relationship with me. My heart had fallen for him once, been broken through the mutual breaking off of our relationship and then fallen again with the promise of how I felt and how I could see God working in my life and his to work things out to HIS glory.

Here is the lesson I have learned...

God loves us unconditionally. EVen though I want to love HIM back unconditionally, I allow things to get in the way. I even put them there sometimes and allow them to stay in the way, even when I know they are in the way. Many times it is fear of dealing with the pain it might take to get those things out of my life even though I know life on the other side is much better and gratifying!

In my situation, I absolutely am in love with that man. I love God first and will follow Him above ALL else, but I love that man and would do anything within God's will and power for him. I say that to tell you that, he doesn't love me back right now...He might want to, and there is a very big thing called a fiance standing between us, which he has the power to get out of the way, but for whatever reason does not want to.

I have decided that I, like God will move on with life. I will not allow one person not loving me to stop the plans that God has for me. Imagine if God allowed us not loving Him to get in the way...HIS love is sufficient and I will follow the ONE who loves me unconditionally and unlike anybody on this earth can.

I pray that HE finds me beautiful and that I glorify HIM in EVERYTHING that I do...so many things have happened and I have allowed myself to settle for a life of mediocrity but I am done...I am preparing for the adventure God has set out for me, no matter how rocky the road may get! MAY GOD RECEIVE ALL THE GLORY!!!

Most precious moment of my life...

I am sooo blessed by the events that took place at church tonight!

It all began when I returned home from work to find my mom and nephew there, getting ready to leave for church. Tonight was the Easter program and after having watched his "Aunt Mer" participate in the Christmas program five year old Little Ron was full of questions. Are you singing? Why not? and Are your friends singing? were just a few of his inquiries.

We arrived at church, 5 minutes late as is customary for me and my mom on Saturday night...and Sunday mornings for me! So, we found a seat quickly and Little Ron settled into my lap where he could see better...right away the questions started as he began making comparisons from the Christmas program...Where is the star? The world isn't over there anymore...(I still have no idea what "world" he is talking about).

Anyhow, I tried to hush him as others around us were most likely not interested in where the "world" was and wanted to hear the beautiful singing taking place on stage. So, they got to the point in the program during which they passed out communion. On the screen was an image of bread and a cup and my nephew of course wanted to know what it was...I began explaining in my best 5 year old language the concept of communion. They passed it out and when I passed the tray on without giving him crackers or juice he asked why he couldn't take it. I explained he needed to know what it meant and in his mind he did understand and repeated exactly the things I had told him and he tried it...He didn't mind the cracker but then only drank HALF of the cup of juice...if you can imagine that being possible with as little as they give you!

Anyhow, they proceeded to show a video I have seen many times of Jesus and the crucifixion. He watched intently as they removed his clothes, placed the crown on his head, nailed his hands and feet to the cross, and lifted it up. It then showed them lowering him to the ground and you see Mary rocking him back and forth in her arms and crying. He asked and I told him "that is his mommy." He looked at me with the big blue eyes of his and asked, what is wrong with him? It was then that I got to share the story of Easter with my nephew. I told him that Jesus died when he was on that cross. I told him it was because he loved all of us very much and that he wants us to be "safe." He got this upset look in his eyes and lowered his head and said, "I didn't want to see that movie."

My heart soared as I got to tell Him that Jesus came back to life...that He was right now up in Heaven waiting for us. He then proceeded to tell me he didn't want to go up there. I told him that I hoped it would be a long time but one day we will ALL want to be in Heaven. He asked if he could take his "freaky" the name he has for his blankey, and I told him I didn't think Jesus would mind that. I told him Jesus was right now building a big house for when he gets to move there and that we get to live forever if we love Jesus.

During this time there was dialogue I didn't get into about the "bad man" (the devil) and many other things that just astounded me and gae me so much insight as to how that little guy thinks and I was soo blessed beyond words to get to be there to answer those questions, see the look in his eyes as he was angry, sad, and defeated over Jesus' death and then filled with hope as I told him about Easter!

It reminded me just what Easter is ALL about and I am more thankful than ever that Jesus did what He did...so that me and my nephew can hope together with you for that glorious day when we will meet Jesus!

God is love...

I just wanted to share...

I am so blessed by sooo many things! God has been wonderful and I love how He pursues me and delights in me. I love delighting in Him and the peace He blesses me with when I trust Him.

I have a friend...several friends if you really want to know! HA! OK, sorry, I have a friend who is in the throws...throes...whatever...she is getting married. I am so happy for her and her prince...but it has really gotten me to thinking.

I think of how blessed I am as a single woman to be able to put ALL of my energy into what God wants. Rarely do I put ALL of my energy into that, we all struggle with that...I really just feel blessed to be able to focus on Him right now and what He wants. I am filled beyond measure with peace when I truly put my trust in Him.

I DO desire to be married one day but one thing that God has shown me is that if I am looking for a perfect love it is ONLY in Him that I will find it. The man that God has for me will not fulfill that place that God does. For the first time I am sooo glad that God has that place that nothing or nobody else can fill...I don't want anything else to distract me from Him...

I want the man God has for me to work with me to continually get closer to God and to encourage others to get closer to God. I want God to use our love as an example for others to see and know WHO the Creator and encourager of that love is.

God is love...

LONG TIME!!!

Hey friends! It has been so long since I have blogged and I just want to share a few thoughts about what God has been doing!

The past while for me has been so up and down and all around but the ONE who has remained constant is my God and Savior. I am sitting in the library typing this with tears just a streaming down my face because He is just so good.

I have struggled in life with depression at times and just being secure in Him. Recently I faced a "crossroads" if you will where I literally thought to myself, "What will I do to myself if this (a certain situation doesn't work out)???
It was in that moment that I just sat down to seek HIM because I needed answers. I heard Him speak to my heart and say that HE is the keeper of my heart and HE will care for it more than anybody else on this earth and that I need to trust HIM above all!

I was so blessed by that and up until that moment I had been questioning my relationship with Him...more than ever. I had been questioning whether I had ruined things between He and I and if I could ever be reconciled to Him. The reality of my life has been pretty dark and until now I haven't TRULY expressed to many people HOW dark it has been. I was so blown away from His answer and His speaking to me in that moment! Praise the Lord!!!

Then I was reading Beth Moore today...she took me into Exodus 15:22-27 (READ IT!!! It is 6 verses!) I was sooo thirsty, like the Israelites...Mine was a spiritual thirst. I was at a crossroads and could see that my way would have been filled with complete bitterness. As I have trusted God He has so completely sweetened the water for me and I am fulfilled in Him!

I pray that for ALL of us! Keep trusting and looking to HIM above EVERYTHING else...He is so much more able than we can imagine!