This world is amazingly beautiful. It was created by the most creative Hands possible and it holds so many beautiful souls that He created.
"The heavens proclaim the glory of God. The skies display his craftsmanship." Psalm 19:1
In making decisions for my precious Jewell and our life going forward I want to do what is glorifying to God...I only have a few years to shape her into what He wants. He entrusted her to me and I have no desire to fail Him in this pursuit, though I know mistakes will certainly be made.
This is what I have decided.
So many things are tempting to me and will be tempting to my daughter as she grows up in a world of immediate gratification, the pursuit of keeping up with the Jones', and the media selling what THEY perceive a person should look and be like.
I want to show her who God is and expose her to as much of Him as possible. I want to vacation at camp grounds, lakes, mountains, His creation reveals so much about Him and offers a magic that Disney or Universal Studios, or seaworld can never compete with. This is not to say I won't one day take her to those places...but our focus will be on comparing everything to what God has created and done in our lives.
This is why it is my goal to show her what it is to love others as Christ loves us. If the world operated like this there would be no poverty. American's are too self absorbed and concentrate on menial tasks such as obtaining and "improving" houses that are too big for our families to use, when there are people on the streets, shivering and hungry. We work toward obtaining the newest technology as status symbols, even, and dare I say ESPECIALLY in the church. It has become a culture within our churches to have an appearance of being "together" and "trendy" and while we are concentrating on such things there are people starving for love and acceptance and who NEED the love of Christ to be spoken into their lives.
My transition from single barista with little responsibility other than to take care of myself, to single mom with the responsibility of another human being's on her shoulders has had it's ups and downs.
I am so thankful for the opportunity to be Jewell's mom. It has brought me more joy than I could ever express and is more than I could have ever imagined. God gave me such a gift in her.
He has provided friends in my life that have been understanding and supportive in my ups and downs. I am excited to tell her how each one of them have loved her and I and supported us when I didn't have anywhere else to go. I am thankful for the ones who haven't expected something in return that I haven't been able to give. I have been overwhelmed with the support provided and at times all I could do was say thank you as I don't have the ability to give back what has been given.
There have been people that have walked away for whatever reason and who have talked behind my back and who are quick to point out my flaws when my life doesn't suit theirs. I have learned that those people aren't worth the energy it would take to please them because the simple fact is they are looking for something that I don't have. I will never be enough and they need to find what they are looking for in Christ. They can move on to other friends and think that is the answer and think that they will be justified in being surrounded by other people...they won't. Those people will continually keep moving on to different people throughout life. Unless they are authentic and able to be in touch with accepting grace and extending it as Jesus would, they will just never get it.
I will be teaching Jewell about how Jesus loves all these people and how we should too but we can love them at a distance and pray for them where necessary. We don't need or want them to distract us from loving others that could cross our path.
I want to show her how to love EVERYBODY. I want to take her to reach out to homeless people, on mission trips, and show her the beauty He has given each person in this world. I want to teach her about some of my heroes, Mother Theresa, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Amy Carmichael, and so many more.
I want her beauty to come from the inside and to shine as to bring all glory to the God who gave her life.
"Some people come into your life as blessings. Some come in your life as lessons." --Mother Theresa
"Does it not stir our hearts to go forth and help them...to leave our luxury, our exceeding abundant light, and go to them that sit in the darkness?" --Amy Carmichael
"You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving." --Amy Carmichael
"Judging others makes us blind, whereas love is illuminating. By judging others we blind ourselves to our own evil and to the grace which others are just as entitled to as we are." --Dietrich Bonhoeffer