Memory...

I was just lying here thinking...

Do you ever do that? It is amazing what memories can come back to me in a flash and hit me in my stomach at the thought of how I could have and SHOULD have done something about it......

I was spending the night with a friend in 7th grade. The whole night was kind of weird. I have issues within my family, we all do... but this was different.

Her mom, sister, and I were all cooking dinner and hanging out. When her dad came into the house the whole place changed. The mood was tense and there was laughter but it was guarded. They had a paddle he kept on an old wood burning stove and they were showing it to me, with him in the room. I, not understanding all the power he felt from it and the fear the girls felt from it, picked it up and was jokingly threatening him with it. Looking back, I can see the fear in their eyes, and his glaring eyes, almost daring me to.

That night when we went to bed her and her sister begged me to be quiet, but at sleep overs you were supposed to talk into all hours of the night. When I heard his voice I understood. He was yelling at his wife, in bed, to MOVE OVER and other demands. Again, me not understanding the severity of the situation, I yelled, BE QUIET! The girls tensed up, I am sure because they feared him coming into the room to find out who yelled.

He never came...eventually things loosened up and we fell asleep. At least I did...

The next morning I went to their church. He didn't go. Their mom went forward during the invitation crying and asking for prayer. At that moment I realized all that was going on, and had an understanding of what was happening in that little blue house.

I remember my friend, how we grew apart, not long after that. How she would prank call me and how I was hurt by it.

Now, I see.

I see that she was the one hurting and afraid and I pray that for all those girls out there that are hurting and afraid and don't know where to turn...that they could turn to a friend. I pray that ultimately they could turn to Jesus...

That's all...