I am not in any way proud of the situation. However, I have been able to see God's grace and redemption in new ways and I am beyond grateful for His son Jesus Christ who made that possible.
It is my goal to now live life by the Spirit. It is amazing how you can read Scripture over and over, and then when a life event happens, that piece of Scripture changes and becomes your lifeline for that exact life circumstance you are facing.
Many times when we fail, it is easy to beat ourselves up and to be bogged down by the failure we have made. Shame creeps in and can demoralize us, which is completely against what God wants for us. In the past I have done this and I realized at the time that is completely disregarding God's sacrifice of His son Jesus. He sacrificed His son so that we could live under the umbrella of grace and NOT allow the power of sin or satan get us down. Jesus was HIS GIFT to us so that we can live in love and allow His light shine into the lives of others.
The Scripture that has spoken to me is the following:
So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature.
For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit, what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.
The acts of sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.
It is God's will that when we mess up, we repent (check), apologize for our actions (check), and face the consequences as well as realigning your life with what God wants (progressively checking).
I am so thankful for His grace, beyond what I can express, and hope that I can be a forgiving and loving friend to anyone who sins against me, as those I love (mostly) have done the same for me. For those who haven't and who still hold bitterness in their heart...I am praying for you.