The Best Freedom

The best freedom anyone can know is freedom from sin through Christ. Sin is the root of everything bad in this world...We ignore God's commands to feed the poor so, there are people suffering. We want more of everything...more money, more possessions, more land, more control, it doesn't end. When we get something or obtain something, we strive for the next thing. Suffering exists because we are selfish individuals. There is a group in Haiti right now giving up the comforts of America for a week so that they can love the poorest of poor. But the real tragedy is not that the people of Haiti will never have an iPad, or that they may never taste a steak or even Lucky Charms. The real tragedy is that they won't know freedom through Christ unless it is communicated to them. Pray for the team this week that they would love extravagantly as Christ would so that the people of Haiti would see they come to offer FREEDOM. A freedom that is better than any riches earth has to offer. Happy Independence day. Pray the people of Haiti could know what that truly means.

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time mare not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God.

--Romans 8:18-21

Voo Don't

Today I am reminded that we need to pray for the Spirit and angels to be surrounding the team in Haiti. The major religion in Haiti is voodoo...

Vodouists believe in a distant and unknowable creator god, Bondye. As Bondye does not intercede in human affairs, vodouists direct their worship toward spirits subservient to Bondyè, called loa.[9] Every loa is responsible for a particular aspect of life, with the dynamic and changing personalities of each loa reflecting the many possibilities inherent to the aspects of life over which they preside.[10] In order to navigate daily life, vodouists cultivate personal relationships with the loa through the presentation of offerings, the creation of personal altars and devotional objects, and participation in elaborate ceremonies of music, dance, and spirit possession.[11]

The reality of this religion is truthfully beyond scary to me. We are only to submit ourselves to God...whenever we submit to other spirits we open ourselves up to evil. "Return now every man from his evil way and amend your doings and go not after other gods to serve them;" --Jeremiah 35:15 Be in prayer for the people our team comes in contact with. That each new person they meet would be blinded by God's light shining from within them and they would be unable to deny His presence. Pray for the team and the possibility of them coming face to face with those who may be involved with the worship of other spirits. Pray for the Holy Spirit to be close and to protect them. Pray in the name of Jesus all of these things because it is by His name only that these spirits can be rebuked. Pray KNOWING that God answers. Pray that our team would follow HIS leading in each situation, that they would listen to His prodding and also warnings He may provide. Allow them to whisper prayers for each child and adult that they come into contact with and to foster His love in their lives where they might not otherwise know love. Pray that the people of Haiti would come to know that they are the apple of His eye and they are special and not forgotten. Pray for the relationships being built within the team. There is nothing like a mission trip to bring you together with others and these relationships will remain special forever.

Sleep Soundly

For almost as long as I can remember my heart has been pointed to the mission field. Specifically I thought I would end up in Romania. A string of events occurred which includes the birth of my number 2 love (after Jesus) and I now am not in a position to go into the world. Without going into details the birth of my daughter was absolutely a beautiful consequence that saved me from what I can only see would have been beyond catastrophic to my heart and I am beyond thankful to God for saving me from what might have been. I can absolutely shine my light here...to my daughter and those around me. And I have decided I want to concentrate on praying for those in the mission field. That brings me to the actual point of this post. A group of people from my church headed to Haiti today. Some of them I know well, some are acquaintances, and some I have never met. I know some of their concerns and strengths and expectations for this trip and I can't help but reflect on some of my own intercultural experiences... This team is potentially going to experience everything from extravagant joy to heartbreak to fear to humility and everything in between and beyond. There is no limit to what they might experience as they allow God to use their hands, feet, smiles, actions, and hearts this week. My prayer is that they would be open. Open to His leading because no matter what their expectations, strengths, concerns, weaknesses...GOD IS BIGGER THAN IT ALL. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. So, as they fall asleep to strange sounds and smells and surroundings, I pray their sleep is sound as they rest knowing that they are in the center of His will...which is the best most comfortable place to be.

You can go to bed without fear; you will lie down and sleep soundly. You need not be afraid of sudden disaster or the destruction that comes upon the wicked, for the Lord is your security. He will keep your foot from being caught in a trap.

Proverbs 3:24-26

As a full time, working, single mom I am constantly on a I love my baby so much I can't stand it high or severely depressed low. I don't ever feel like things are just normal anymore... While working 40+ hours a week I have been blessed to know that people that love God and Jewell are caring for her. I don't worry about her at all during our days apart. There are things that I will never get to see her do for the first time though and it hurts my heart when I allow myself to think about the firsts that I miss. Her first reaction to a certain food, to swinging, she may have taken her first step without me or stood up by herself for the first time. Some of these things I will never know if I missed but I know I have missed some of them. Today I asked my sitter to please wait to let me take her swimming for the first time. I have been a wreck over this one experience for some reason and I think it is just a culmination of the experiences I have missed and will miss. It is one thing that I want to experience and yet I feel guilty for asking her to wait to put her in the pool. These things are extremely difficult for me to ask yet for some reason much more difficult for me not to ask because my heart wrenches at the thought of missing this... So, thanks for understanding Angela...this mommy is so thankful. :)

Sometimes I truly wonder who we think we are... As humans. GOD made us. HE is the only reason that each one of us is even taking a breath right now. So we absolutely SHOULD be listening to and following every instruction He gave us. OK, so there are a lot...and we are imperfect, I'll give ya that... BUT He pointed out 2 commandments above all. TWO OF THEM. That should be easy enough right? Here they are: 1. Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ (Matthew 22:37 NLT) 2. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ (Matthew 22:39 NLT) The one I want to focus on here is #2. "Love your neighbor as YOURSELF." Did you catch that??? We ALL love ourselves here in the USA. We are constantly harping on self esteem and making sure that we value ourselves. We constantly strive for things to fulfill ourselves and make us happy. We DEFINITELY have NO shortage of love for ourselves here. Then as soon as someone does something wrong, forget it. We are all up in arms about how they treated us or how selfish they are. But wait a second. We should be loving them AS MUCH AS WE LOVE OURSELVES. We aren't entitled to anything BUT sucking it up turning the other cheek and forgiving them. If you have a problem with this then God and Christianity must not be for you. But wait. He extended it to everyone...it is a Gospel of love and the only thing we can't ever have enough of is love. SO...how about this. Next time you are tempted to speed up so the car next to you can't pass...slow down and let them go by. Next time your friend messes up...shake it off and keep loving. Next time the waitress messes up your order...tip double. Someone cuts you off in traffic and then flips you off even though it isn't your fault and you follow them into the Starbucks drive thru...buy their coffee. Fool me once shame on nobody fool me twice shame on nobody again because, "Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven! (Matthew 18:21, 22 NLT) Turn the other cheek. If you get beat up, knocked down, stomped on??? Forgive forgive forgive. Jesus had had whatever you are dealing with multiplied by a number unknown to our human brains. He took the weight of the sin of the world and was beaten to shreds and hung to die. He was abandoned and left for dead so that we could experience grace. If we are able to reach out and ask for that grace to be extended to us...how much more should we be able to extend that grace to others? Who do we think we are? I think I am a fallen, imperfect, Jesus lover who doesn't want to be anything less than His servant. But it all starts with the basics. LOVE GOD LOVE OTHERS AS YOURSELF.

Delight

Delight.

This word has been on my mind for weeks and it is time to write about it.

So many things bring enjoyment, but at what point does enjoyment become delight?

Merriam Webster defines delight as, "a high degree of gratification : joy; also : extreme satisfaction".

When I think about things that bring me joy, I think of music, coffee, beautiful weather (like today), things that are pleasing to the senses. 

I am learning what the word DELIGHT means.  My soul has never felt the delight that has come about through seeing my child grow and learn.  I can't imagine anything more delightful.  It gives a whole new meaning to the fact that God delights in ME!  He delights in YOU!

In all of my dirty sin, God delights in me.  Like, me watching Jewell grow and learn, He delights in seeing His people do the same.  Our hearts and lives grow in Him when we serve Him with our minds and actions.  

When I think of joy it seems to be something I feel when I am being fulfilled.  Delight comes from pushing past myself continuously until there is nothing left but the fruit of what is coming from my labor.  

With God, he is pouring into us...through His son, His Word, and His people, He pours into us and when we respond to His truth and love and grow from it, He takes delight in it.

"He led me to a place of safety;he rescued me because he delights in me"  --2 Samuel 22:20

"The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives." --Psalm 37:23

"For the Lord corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights."        
                                                                                                                                     --Proverbs 3:12

God Has It

So many things to say.  Today has been rough.

I took baby girl to pediatrician for her 2 month check up, she got three shots.  So sad!

Received a call from a company that I have been really wanting to land a job with.  They offered me a part time position.  I should have jumped at the opportunity, however they want me to work on Sundays.  The last time I disregarded God and gave up Sundays for a job it bit me in the butt...HARD.  So, I am almost positive that tomorrow I will be calling to turn it down, as hard as it is...God comes first.

I found out today that my sister's dog has congestive heart failure.  I love little Max.

I had a conversation with a close mentor friend of mine about the job situation.  Which ones I apply for and which ones I don't and why.  Her and I agree, that God leads my heart and I am good at following His leading.  I am not speaking of going on a "feeling"... I truly follow God and trust that He has me where I am for the moment and He knows my situation.  Until He leads me I will stay put.  I am not going to hastily apply for any job out there just because I need more money.  God provides.  He has been so faithful to me and I will not doubt even when people or a person discounts my decisions to decide one way or another what I am going to do, or what job I am going to apply for.  There is something to be said about the amount of time I have stayed at Starbucks.  Employers appreciate longevity and I will hold out for the right opportunity.

On top of all of this, I am a single mom.  I am burnt out.  I am so thankful for the things people are doing for me.  Girls night out this past weekend was awesome...Hillsong is an amazing worship experience.  I was so blessed by that time.  I am so thankful for those that have stepped up and helped with childcare and other needs while I try to figure this gig out. 

Also I am going to put this reality out there.  I have not had more than 15-20 minutes alone since about July 10.  Once I got to the hospital that was it.  The most time I have had alone has been in the car in between locations.  When I am here with my baby I am the sole caretaker.  I don't have a husband to give me a break (my fault but doesn't make it easy).  I am nursing so my body is not only physically exhausted from being on my feet all day, lugging gallons of milk, etc. at Starbucks, but it is working to produce milk as well.  My work breaks aren't breaks because I am rushing to assemble a pump to express whatever my body has decided to produce for the past few hours and then as soon as I am done I am back to work, often with very little to nothing to eat because there is no time and sometimes no money.  When she is in my arms and when she smiles at me it is all worth it.

So, while I am AFRAID, exhausted, appreciative, blessed, and every other emotion out there...God has it.

Trying to trust Him and lean on His promises.  So thankful for those who have and will step up to serve Him in this single mom's life.  It isn't a life I chose but God knew it is the life I would lead and He has prepared me for this and I will be faithful to Him in the raising of my daughter.  I will teach her integrity, commitment, and all the things that I value in this world, the greatest being Love.

Do you not know? Have you not heard? Yahweh is the everlasting God, the Creator of the whole earth. He never grows faint or weary; there is no limit to His understanding.  He gives strength to the weary and strengthens the powerless.   Youths may faint and grow weary, and young men stumble and fall,   but those who trust in the Lord will renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:28-31